On a Clear Day You Can See Forever

imageIt sure seems to be confusing, but it’s really not once you know truth from falsehood. The Governor of North Carolina would like some clarity in the judicial system to further define gender identity and bathroom use in his state. Well, maybe I can help him out, not with the clarity he seeks in the judicial system but moral clarity.

“The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world it leaves to its children.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

To start things off, ‘gender’ has nothing to do with whether or not a person is male or female, ‘sex’ is the word used to describe boys and girls. The LGBTABCD and E community has highjacked another word. ‘Gender’, according to my Big Red Book, “The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language,” is defined as; any set of two or more categories, such as masculine, feminine and neuter, into which words are divided according to sex, animation, psychological associations, or some other characteristic, and that determine agreement with or the selection of modifiers, referents, or grammatical forms. Yes boys and girls, ‘gender’ has to do with grammar, not genitalia.

If the Governor of North Carolina really wants clarity and get a good grip on this transgender issue he must go back in time to the 1940’s and read up on the fraudulent information or ‘facts’ gathered in the book “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male” by the bi/homosexual, sadomasochist Alfred Kinsey. It was the major influence on the Supreme Court’s sodomy decision in 2003, Lawrence vs. Texas.

Along with the Kinsey ‘facts,’ Justice Kennedy found that the Constitution embodies a right to private homosexual acts with both the commencement and expelling end of the human digestive system’s alimentary canal. He found this bit of information in the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. I looked and looked and looked for where the Constitution said it’s okay to have anal and oral sex but I couldn’t find it. I once looked and looked and looked for the right to have an abortion and couldn’t find that either. (Funny , I did find the second amendment which was very clear and to the point, especially about infringement, yet I’m not allowed to own or possess a firearm in NYC without paying a lot of money. I also lack a good moral character. I digress) I also found that sodomy or performing sex acts with the human digestive system was prohibited back when the founders wrote up the Constitution. So I would think that if they disapproved of this degenerate and disgusting behavior back then why would they put it in the Bill of Rights? (Note: many laws are written on the basis of ‘disgust,’ such as defecating in a public street.) If the governor of North Carolina also can’t find this information about sodomy in the Bill of Rights he can write to U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch at the Justice Department. I have a feeling that she and the President know all about this stuff.

So far we have several instances of outright lies, falsehood and misinformation that should help the governor of North Carolina to achieve some clarity on this toilet issue. The word ‘gender’ is a bunch of baloney; Alfred Kinsey’s book is a bunch of baloney; a Supreme Court Decision based on information not found in the Bill of Rights is a bunch of baloney; and using the digestive system as a double ended vagina is nuts today as it was until 1973 when a mob of violent bi\homosexual thugs demanded that the American Psychiatric Association (APA) remove “homosexuality” from the list of psychological disorders in is Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. And with the waving of the psycho-wand, homosexuals were as normal as apple pie.

Language or the lack of it makes humans easy to control – control their language and you control the people, said George Orwell in his book “1984.” Words evolve; homosexual, fag, and queers evolved to a more friendly word, ‘gay.’ ‘Homosexual’ was replaced with ‘pedophile’ whenever the media wrote a story about Catholic priests abusing children, even after it was found that over 80% of the abusive priests where homosexuals, not pedophiles. The terms ‘anal sex,’ and ‘oral sex’ almost give some sort of legitimacy to these degenerate acts of the sodomite. And with gay marriage a man or woman can be a ‘wife’ or a ‘husband.’ Pronouns cannot transform their gender into something they are not.

Lets see what else is there to make things more clear.

The Civil Rights Act outlaws discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, and sex in public accommodations. It doesn’t mention homosexuals or transsexuals, lesbians or bicycles, and the word ‘sex’ means male or female, the real deal male or female, not the imagined one inside some lunatics head. But that means absolutely nothing to Al Sharpton’s girlfriend, U.S Attorney Loretta Lynch, a negro woman who should know better. Loretta has threatened the governor of North Carolina, she said she was going to send her colleagues at the Civil Rights Division to the governors mansion and have them break all his windows if he doesn’t comply, (sorry, I take that back, that’s not true, that’s a different organization that breaks windows and destroys businesses if the owners don’t pay a protection fee) Loretta’s gang will curtail federal funding to North Carolina, and that’s a whole different ballgame than how the mafia would handle this toilet protection problem. Anyway, I looked, and looked, and looked and I couldn’t find in the Civil Rights Act of 1964 anything about mentally impaired men who think they are a woman, having the right to take a crap in the ladies room because they felt that that is where it should be dumped.

Isn’t it amazing that so many highly educated Americans can read a document or a law and find things in them that don’t really exist, like a woman living inside the body of a man trying to escape and go to the bathroom of her choice, which brings us to some other issues that the governor of North Carolina may want to look into for more clarity.

Former John Hopkins psychiatrist Paul McHugh said that transgenderism is a ‘mental disorder’ that merits treatment (not encouragement as does Loretta and Barry from Honolulu) and sex change is ‘biologically impossible’ and people who promote sexual reassignment surgery are collaborating with and promoting a mental disorder. The American College of Pediatricians warns that the transgender programming of children is child abuse and to declare a child to be a ‘transgender’ in need of chemical and surgical mutilation is a crime against children.

The gay community will straighten all this nonsense out with a few well placed threats, (as they did back in 1973).

Well I hope some of this information is helpful to the governor of North Carolina. Clarity comes through knowledge. Understanding the overall picture of the gay agenda is crucial in defeating this insanity that began with the 60’s generation’s acceptance of permissiveness and hedonism.

Someone has to tell them ‘no.’ “The buck stops at the shitter.” There is no reason why sodomites should be allowed to marry, or men and women, under the LGBTABCD and E banner allowed to adopt children, or openly serve in the military, or given any special rights. Sodomy is a perverted and degenerate behavior and should be recognized for what it is, as should the people practicing this behavior. Most importantly the American people must recognize that Bill Clinton told the truth (even though he didn’t know it) when he told the world he did not have sex with that woman. Why? Because that was her head. And when the gay community wants to go to the ‘head,’ use the appropriate one designated ‘Male’ or ‘Female.’

Then watch the tantrum.


Throwing Trannies Under the Bus

imageJoe is a lawyer, a conservative commentator and a Starship Commander like Captain Kirk.  And why not? One can be all they can be, not only in the army, but in one’s own mind just by thinking whatever it is they want to be. Maybe we don’t have Starships as the Enterprise, but so what, we can still play make-believe. Joe is also gay or homosexual. Supposedly he has sex with men, but the fact is humans do not have sex with the commencement and expelling ends of the digestive system of other humans, they make-believe they do. Joe is also married. He makes-believe he is either the husband or the wife, I’m not sure which. Joe lives in fantasy land.

As a gay man in America and a card carrying member of the LGBTABCD and E lobby, Joe is very happy that the “great noble cause ” of homosexual rights has been won. They can adopt little boys and girls, sodomy has been decriminalized and accepted by many Americans as ‘normal’, they can openly serve in the military, and live the American dream of getting married and settling down to raise a family. They can also threaten and coerce businesses with impunity to comply with their agenda, and soon they will demand that there be no age of consent in regard to ‘sexual’ relations. Little boys will be fair game as in Afghanistan. America will be more worldly and sophisticated, excluding human decency and disgust?

Joe got his and now he wants to get rid of the transgender community from the LGBTABCD and E community. Drop the “T” from the movement. Joe says that the “Ts” are no longer working toward the same goals as the “Ls and Gs.” So much for inclusiveness.

Joe says that the “Ts” are working against their biology and trying to change who they are physically, “Gs and Ls” are trying to be nobody but themselves and are not seeking hormone treatments and cut&paste surgery. But Joe, aren’t the gays also working against their biology? And Joe, aren’t gays also working against human anatomy? Don’t gay men realize where exactly they put their penis when they have so-called ‘sex’ with another man?  And Joe, if a transgender ‘man’ becomes a ‘woman’ through hormone treatments and cut&paste surgery, and then finds a nice boy and they get married and have sex, and the transgendered woman still has ‘his’ prostate and lacks fallopian tubes and eggs and his breasts are really made from Tub and Tile silicone caulking, aren’t they really nothing more than two happily married homosexual males having sex, same as you and your male wife or husband? Think about that for awhile Joe, along with the characters found in science fiction

Trannies and gays have much in common, just living in the same fantasy world should be reason enough for them to stick together in the “great noble cause” of attaining special rights, and of course they should also stick together both orally and anally. The trannies fantasy of thinking they are a woman or a man and therefore they are because they identify with that certain gender can also be very useful for the gay movement. What if your male husband or wife declares that he or she is really straight and no longer gay but continues to stay married to his gay man; think of the implications and what fun and confusion the LGBTABCD and E community could have with this social construct.

Joe, you speak of marriage and how it has evolved over the years, from arranged marriages, interracial marriages and same-sex marriages. Shouldn’t this evolution continue? Or are you that selfish you would deny Chaz Bono from marrying Caitlyn Jenner? The LGBTABCD and E lobby should fight for them. Remember it’s about love too.

Joe, today you will throw the trannies under the bus, and tomorrow it will be the “Bs.” The bisexual; one moment they are heterosexual, the next moment they are homosexual. They sound very much the same as the trannies who sometimes feel they are a woman and other times they feel like a man. Of course their big difference is that the “B” wants to have an orgasm with anyone available, and the “T” simply wants to take a dump in the ladies room.

Have no fear Joe, the inclusion of trannie rights to allow boys to share bathrooms and locker rooms with girls, or men to use the ladies bathroom at Target would not be asking too much of America. They have accepted the gay community with open arms, especially marriage, with help from the Supreme Court and the Obergefell ruling. So stick with the “Ts” Joe. With advice from the LGBTABCD and E lobby and a little strong arm help from the Supreme Court and the President, they too will have a seat at the table, and elsewhere.

Joe, has any American said anything bad about David Furnish, Elton John’s husband, and David having gay fun with two other gay men in a kiddie pool filled with olive oil? Of course not, and they are not concerned with where a man takes a dump either. Your being paranoid Joe, this usually happens when an organization becomes too big and powerful as is the LGBTABCD and E lobby. Relax Joe, take it easy, the gay agenda isn’t going to unravel as would a free-wheeling roll of toilet paper behind the closed doors of a bathroom stall.

And Joe, you are very wrong when it comes to kids and the transgender movement and the homosexual agenda.  Proclamations about gender identity and ‘sex’ with the human digestive system can be confusing at a young age and this is why Sir Elton John, a Knight of the Royal Family of England, was very concerned about his husband’s olive oil tryst with two other men. Sir John (who really should be a Dame) didn’t want his two sons, ages two and four, to be exposed to the homosexual lifestyle of their daddy, nyet, not yet. Sir John should not be ashamed of them knowing of their daddies behavior or their ‘sexual’ behavior at any age. Listen to the words of Chairman Mao, “Give to me all your five year olds and I will rule the world in twenty years.” Good advice I think, don’t you Joe? You already practice Marxism by taking scientific truths and distorting them to fit your agenda. Why stop there? The little kiddies will get over their confusion, or your confusion, and accept all you proclaim as true. Begin teaching them now,  and continue to lay your foundation on the sands of the LGBTABCD and E agenda.

Keep your brothers and sisters of the trannie world close to you and under the protective wing of the LGBTABCD and E lobby. Together all of you, along with your movement, can go where men dared not go before; the ladies room to take a crap.

An analysis of:

“Gay, transgender movements need a divorce: Column” by Joseph R. Murray II

USA TODAY February 28, 2016


Quit Bellyaching Ladies


Everyone, except for  Miss Lilly Ledbetter and our Negro President Barry from Honolulu know – but will not admit – that women do not work as hard or produce as much in the workplace than men. Face it ladies, you are not the same as men and not worth as much as men, and be thankful you have the opportunity to work and make a living with the blessing of men in “their world.”

You may make a little less money than men, but look at all the free stuff men give you, free abortion, contraceptives, paid maternity leave, and soon you’ll be receiving free tampons. You do know that there are other ways to get equal pay other than having Barry from Honolulu sign an Executive Order. The easiest way to get that extra cash is to become a transgender person, simply think you’re a man and go tell your boss that you are no longer a woman but a man; or you could take a little vacation to Trinidad, Colorado and have a sex change operation. You’ll get that extra 20 cents on the dollar but then you will loose the abortion, contraceptive, maternity leave and free tampon benefits. Your call ladies.

Ladies, your a poor investment in the workplace. Once you get knocked-up you begin costing the company money. And -that -is your role in the world like it or not, get pregnant and have kids, yet you keep insisting on playing the role of men and to be their equal in the workforce and the military, and now one of you wants to be President, God helps us. It’s the role of men to shape the world, to shape it so that it is clean and safe for women to bring new life into it. You play your part and let men play theirs.

So put all that rhetorical victimization crap on hold, whether it’s about wages or that famous worn out female exprussion “It’s a man’s world.” Can it and put a lid on it ladies. If it wasn’t for men with their heartfelt empathy and their concern for the fairer, and weaker sex, in both mind and body, there would be no modern conveniences to make your life easier. And your complaining about what? A lousy twenty cents. You have been nothing more than a goddamn troublemaker right from the beginning.

Do you know the greatest love story ladies? It was the first love story. Have you ever asked yourself after you got caught stealing and eating something you weren’t supposed to be eating, why the man in your life did not turn you in for a replacement? That’s right sweetie, he knew you would never make it alone in the world. He cared. He gave a damn about you, and he’s been eating sweet and sour MacIntosh apples ever since you got us kicked out of that peaceful neighborhood.

It was nice running around naked, but now we had to wear grass and leaves and smelly animal skins, dig for roots and collect nuts and half-rotten fruit. It was men who taught you how to wash your hands before eating, men who made tools to catch fish and kill animals so you would have some meat to eat. He even showed you how to make a fire to cook the meat or you would still be eating it raw.

A shower once a week, whether or not a man needed it or not, would be plenty. And if it’s to cold, the wait till spring would not be a problem. Not in a mans world. How about those cold baths in the rivers, showering in the rain, and beating your cloths on rocks to get them clean. And do you remember the bugs and other vermin living in the walls and roof of the grass shelter that leaked every time it rained, the mess in the forest later confined to an outhouse? (another man invention) Remember the gathering of firewood, and the tears from your eyes when cooking? Remember the food and how it would become uneatable so quickly and how sometimes there was nothing to eat at all, and all those children dying from sickness and how dark the world was? I do.

Something had to be done, and I’ll be damned if a woman was going to do it. It was lumber and stone instead of grass and caves for a better shelter, a well and pipes for fresh water, and indoor fixed flushable chamber pots with toilet paper. Men brought you coal, gas and oil for heat and cooking, and electricity for refrigeration and light. They provided fabric, linen and silk for better clothing, all of which led to less and less dying of the new life you brought into the world. It took awhile, but men did it. They shaped the world to make it a better place for you and your kids. Do you remember? I do.

Those goddamn responsible and caring men. How come they get paid at all? I just don’t know. Please ladies, enough and quit your bellyaching. We deserve that twenty cents. It’s a small amount for what we put up with.

Ten Dollars for SEAL PAC

The following is a letter to be sent to Congressman Ryan Zinke, former Commander at Seal Team Six.

Dear Representative Zinke:

Enclosed is a check for ten dollars, it’s not much but it is an indication that I support your mission to inflict damage on the liberal Democrats. (Living in New York City, I must warn you sir, to use the phrase “to inflict damage on the liberal Democrats” could be cause for NYC government officials, due to the violent nature of the phrase, to label you as a person who lacks a good moral character, which could lead to the loss of some of your rights listed in the Constitution’s Bill of Rights. (See my book “How to Solve a Noise Problem in New York City”) I digress.

In the last mid-term election we were told that President Obama’s liberal agenda would be confronted after gaining complete control of the Senate and House of Representatives. The people voted but nothing has changed. The President and the liberal Democrats do what they please with no opposition. It’s difficult supporting empty words and promises.

You mention that veterans are much more likely to understand what it is to keep America strong and free, unlike career political opportunists like Barack Obama. America must be energy independent, we must control our borders and deal with illegal immigrants, we must recognize and destroy our Islamic enemy, and maintain our privacy and freedoms along with our free-market economy.

All of the above are worthy goals to keep America strong and free, but without virtue which is conduct that reflects universal principles of moral and ethical excellence essential to leading a worthwhile life and to effective self-government, America will not become great and special again but continue on the road it’s on to become a great cesspool of waste with a degenerate people who have much in material wealth and unbridled freedom. They will have a strong military to defend a country no longer worth fighting for. Americans and especially their government are having problems distinguishing right from wrong behavior. American leadership must step up and confront, without political correct speech, a very special issue not debated but imposed upon the American people.

Reluctantly I say, I would not fight or serve this country in the military. I couldn’t recommend to my nephew or my neighbors son to serve as I had once served in Vietnam almost fifty years ago. Why risk life and limb for a country so off its tracks? But this is wrong thinking, and it’s an attitude that would be welcomed by President Obama and the liberal Democrats. It would be a declaration of defeat and surrender.

The Navy SEAL’s creed follows.

“I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.”

One does not have to be a Navy SEAL to live according to this creed. Any American who gives a damn about this country and its history or their wife and children and family can adopt and live by this creed. And in one word, the Navy SEAL’s creed was once spoken at the Battle of the Bulge in World War II: “NUTS.”

Enormous damage can be inflicted on liberal Democrats with words used as bludgeons and battle-axes, open debate on paper is part of the American way, so for Christ’s sake, let us all use the First Amendment as it was intended.

“Bacha bazi,” the interpretation from Persian, the language spoken in Afghanistan, is “playing with boys.” It’s the abusing of prepubescent and adolescent boys; dressing them up as women, having them dance, and then raping them. This is the culture we defend, and the Taliban, who we fight against, when they came to power in 1994 made a law forbidding such practice. They recognized right from wrong behavior, as did Green Beret Sergeant First Class Charles Martland.

The young boy was about twelve years old. He was chained to a bed for seven days and sexually abused by Abdula Rahman, the local Afghan National Police chief who worked with the Special Forces team in the area. The boy’s mother pleaded with the Police Chief to let her son go. Abdul Rahman beat her and kept her son.

The mother and son, after this horrible ordeal was over, went to the Special Forces unit where SFC Martland was stationed to report this abuse by the police chief. Apparently the mother believed the Americans shared a universal principle of moral and ethical excellence. The boy was examined and abuse from a hideous sexual practice was determined. The Special Forces team ordered the police chief to their base. When accused of raping the boy by anal sex, Abdul Rahman laughed and admitted he was a child rapist. SFC Martland and another Green Beret roughed up the police chief and told him to stay away from the boy and the mother. They probably should have called the police and had formal charges made, but according to the U.S. State Department 2013 report, the Afghan National Police “raped children with impunity.” Why bother to report the incident.

The following day the Special Forces team was lifted out by helicopter, relieved of their command for imposing their morals and ethics upon our friends and allies in the war on terrorism. I wonder what happened to the young boy and his mother, it must have been terrifying for them when the American Green Berets were gone and there was no one to protect them from Abdul Rahman. SFC Martland would be discharged from the Army for roughing up a child rapist.

I wonder what would have happened to Mike McQueary if he stopped Jerry Sandusky from having anal intercourse with a young boy in a shower at Penn State? Would he be punished in some manner for interrupting a legal and accepted sex act in American culture between two males? Mr. McQueary didn’t know the age of the boy. Would he be punished for roughing up Sandusky? McQueary made a moral decision not to intervene, unlike SFC Martland and his Special Forces team who felt they had no choice but to respond. And good for them. Sandusky would be convicted of indecent assault and involuntary deviate sexual intercourse. The boy didn’t say “yes.” He would also be greatly rewarded with $211,000 from Pennsylvania’s government pension system, along with a monthly benefit of $4,900 while in prison.

And what do Catholic homosexual priests from the 1970’s, Jerry Sandusky, the President of the United States, liberal Democrats, U.S. Military leaders and many American people have in common? They believe in anal sex, they believe that human beings actually have ‘sex’ with the human digestive system. They believe that the commencement and expelling ends of the alimentary canal are the equivalent of the female reproductive organ. They believe that anal sex or deviate sexual intercourse is virtuous conduct that reflects universal principles of moral and ethical excellence essential to leading a worthwhile life and to effective self-government, as does Abdul Rahman.

As long as the homosexual agenda is recognized as being legitimate in American culture; their gay sex, gay marriage, child adoption, transgender cut and paste operations, bisexual licentiousness, and the dehumanizing of man, America will be no different than Abdul Rahman’s world, even when you successfully achieve the goals of energy independence, control of the borders, destroying our Islamic enemy, and maintaining our freedoms and free-market system.

America will not be worth defending if we forget the following uncompromising words:

“Whoever receives one child in my name receives me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

Those who punished Sergeant First Class Martland and all those who defend the gay agenda through law and executive orders as well as whoever plugged in the rainbow colored lights at the White House, are guilty of misguiding children and contribute to their abuse. They have accepted the gay agenda. They have accepted gay sex. And I’m sure they practice what they preach, as did former President of the United States of America William Jefferson Clinton, a great and admired liberal Democrat.

The goals of SEAL PAC, if accomplished, will help make America strong and free, but its people will live in spiritual poverty. Who wants to live in the world of Abdul Rahman?

The ten dollars is not for America to become strong and free, it’s for getting our priorities straight and getting into the real fight protecting both present and future generations of children, and not just American children, all children.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Martin Luther King.

Sincerely yours,

Paul J. Farrell

The Metamorphosis

Once upon a time, boy and girls, before the Bible was written and before God’s reality introduced the dinosaurs (which was a big mistake later corrected) there existed strange human-like creatures. They were round like a ball, had four arms and hands and four legs and feet. They had one head with two faces looking opposite ways that were precisely alike with two ears and eyes each and a nose and mouth and they had privy members. These earliest human-like creatures were of three combinations: male-male, male-female, and female-female. They were very powerful, and the gods were in fear of their strength. It was decided to cut them in two. Divide and rule. Is this a true story?



There is clear evidence that these creatures, from Plato’s imagination, may have actually existed. All over the planet earth, we find these separate male and female creatures attempting to become one again, and in the process create more male and female creatures. Sometimes many creatures are born all at once. These are called twins, triplets and tuplets. They are believed by some in the science community to be the mythical attached male-male, female-female creatures from long ago, but now separate. They also believe that these creatures existed from the clear evidence of newborns joined at the hip and or head.

So boys and girls, as in any artistic creation, some things don’t work very well together, such as colors and shapes and especially square pegs and round holes. Change is inevitable and is part of the process. The dinosaurs were erased from the canvas with fire and evolution and changed into birds, and the human-like creatures were split in half. God corrected reality with Adam and Eve. One man and one woman, separate and almost but not quite equal. God kept it simple, so God thought.

The big question in any maternity ward use to be: Is it a boy or a girl? Such an easy question to answer, one may think. If wrapped in a blue blanket it’s a boy, and in a pink blanket it’s a girl. Take the kid home and raise it accordingly.


X and Y chromosomes at one time also did the job. Males were XY friendly and females were XX friendly, but that has changed and is no longer foolproof in the enlightened 21st Century.  Which is what, or what is which? What appears to be masculine or feminine may not be so. Nyet, nyet, nyet, not anymore.

Freud brought up the interesting idea on how to determine the sex of a person by taking a good look at the reproductive organ. Males, who have a penis, will be masculine and called boys, and females who do not have a penis, and are extremely jealous and envious of this fact, will be feminine and called girls. It was an idea that was around for a very long time before Mr. Freud’s female penis envy assumption.

And today, boys and girls, the creatures are back, not the dinosaurs, which would be very exciting, but Plato’s male-female creatures. Freud said that within every man there is an inner woman and within every woman there is an inner man. It’s very difficult exposing these inner characters. We can’t really see the innards of a person. We would have to take a person’s word that there was a male inside or a woman inside, but not everyone tells the truth about these things, especially newborn infants. The LGBTABCD and E boys and girls would run with Freud’s little sentence. And once again we’re all off onto the road of confusion.


Gay men do not have sex with other men, they have sex with the imaginary inner Frauline within the other male, and it’s the same for women who have sex with the imaginary inner Herr of the other woman. If only the imaginary inner Mr. and Mrs. could be gotten out of the body and into the gay communities reality, life would be so much more simple and understanding, unlike God’s reality.

And yes, boys and girls, science and the modern world has found a way for the innards to be free at last. The Sex Change Hospital in Trinidad, Colorado fulfills the dreams of men becoming women and women becoming men. Cut and paste operations and mutilations provide the necessary accessories for men to be women, and for women to end their penis envy that is so difficult to bear. Concoctions of hormones are drunk to femaleize the male and maleize the female. Life is good in America where nature’s God no longer inscribes a man or woman’s identity. We can all be whatever we wish, or whatever we imagine we are.


Imagine one’s gay male partner disappearing for a few weeks, and coming home in the external body of what was once his inner woman. No longer would they have to bear the stigma of being a homosexual couple. They would be man and ‘some sort of woman.’ And in recognition of Black History Month: They would be free at last, thank god they are free at last.

Kafka’s Gregor Samsa looked in the mirror one morning and saw a disgusting, bad smelling, fluid emitting, hideous looking bug with long legs and antenna. It was him, a changed man, now a bug. Who is to say that this never happened? Why can’t we assign ourselves such an identity? Think boys and girls, what it must be like to be transformed as by magic or sorcery and able to walk on walls and ceilings.


And how do we protect all this fiction and falsity from the unbelievers of man’s new reality? That’s right, boys and girls, through the rule of law and human rights, the idea that has made America great. A Transgender and Heterhomorphic Law that allows gender identity and unrestricted gender expression acknowledging that all men are not created equal, some are more equal than others, and all persons can be all they can be, and whatever and whoever they think they are. Got that?

The Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act or GENDA is the law of New York, and we will obey the law, or else. Under the law, no one is required to conform to their anatomical sex appearance. If a male desires to be female for a day, he will be addressed as a she, or a ze, or a hir, not as a him or he. He will not be required to wear pants or ties. He will dress as he pleases and not be harassed. He is not required to wear a name tag with his real name if he wishes to use another, such as ‘Jane’ to replace ‘John.’ He can use the personal pronoun Mrs. instead of Mr. and use any gym locker room or toilet. What freedom to be able to go to the male or female toilet whenever one pleases, depending on how they feel at the moment of bladder or colon desire and fulfillment.


Note: The intentional refusal to recognize these civil rights by those who are less equal than others, they will be subject to fines from $125,000 to $250,000. Our leaders and lawmakers, as if by magic and sorcery, deem all this to be so.

gender; 1. Grammer. a. Any set of two or more categories, such as masculine, feminine, and neuter, into which words are divided according to sex, animation, psychological associations, or some other characteristic. and that determine agreement with or the selection of modifiers, referents, or grammatical forms.

Remember boys and girls when grammatical gender had to do with words, when it was a system of noun classification that included masculine and feminine categories. Masculine nouns were words for men, boys and male animals. Feminine nouns were words for women, girls and female animals.

Some examples are: bridegroom, bride; brother, sister; dad, mum; father, mother; husband, wife; son, daughter. Some nouns can be used for both masculine and feminine; baby, child, infant, parent, ….. and teacher.

But that was yesterday when Adam and Eve and God’s reality made more sense than man’s present day reality.



New York Values

Values are principles, standards, or qualities considered worthwhile or desirable.

Those who are pro-life, believe in the second amendment and are anti-gay, according to Governor Cuomo; “they have no place in the state of New York because that’s not who New Yorkers are.” And who are these New Yorkers?

imageGovernor Cuomo says that Senator Ted Cruz is dividing the country when he attacked New York values. (Andy, the country is already divided, and isn’t this a good thing? Divide and rule.) Has the good non-conforming Catholic Governor Cuomo gotten married yet, or is he still shacking-up with his girlfriend? Good for him, why marry and make a commitment to the one you love when it’s not necessary?

At least he isn’t roaming around screwing another man’s wife as was the hobby of former Governor Paterson who replaced former Governor ‘Socks’ Spitzer after he got caught balling some prostitute.  There were a pair of New York leaders who were full of New York values. All three of these wonderful men are constantly in pursuit of what is considered worthwhile and desirable for all New Yorkers.

(For the uninformed; the vulgar slang words ‘screwing,’ and ‘balling’ are classy terms used by New Yorkers describing intimate ‘physical’ sexual relations between men and woman, having nothing to do with emotional and spiritual feeling.)

Senator Cruz does not believe in gay marriage. Is it because of the long history of marriage between a man and a woman, or is it common sense, and the absurdity of men marrying men? Or is he concerned that the acceptance of same sex marriage will be the acceptance of gay sex acts, after the kissing?

Gay sex acts are worthwhile and desirable for New Yorkers. Sodomy is a New York value.  It is considered good behavior as shown by the love for our very own present day New Yorker, Bill Clinton, who brought this conduct into the open in the Oval Office. Thank God for President Clinton and his values that are also New York qualities considered worthwhile and desirable.


And his wife, a former Senator from New York, will hopefully be in the Oval Office next year to sit in the same chair behind the same desk as where her husband once sat resolutely having gay sex. Why does Ted Cruz not understand what and who is worthwhile and desirable? New Yorkers do.


New Yorkers have no problem teaching their children that sodomy is a standard of good behavior, and with the acceptance of this deviant behavior, gay marriage will easily be accepted, as will be the acceptance of the entire gay agenda. Sodomy and the age of consent, it was Roman practice to use little boys for sexual pleasure then discard them, one day this will be an accepted New York value. New Yorkers would be hypocrites if they didn’t.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Senator Cruz, then pass it to Donald Trump.

imageNew York Mayor Bill deBlasio considers Senator Cruz to be a hypocrite for criticizing New Yorkers and their values but not refusing their money contributions. Sixteen million dollars is spent every week on drugs by the principled New Yorker, that’s 832 million dollars per year spent by the American Recreational Drug User, New York chapter.

Drug money helps grow the economy and provides jobs. It may not be donated to Senator Cruz’s campaign and with his attitude and ethical standards, why should it be?

New Yorkers believe that drug use and the money derived from it is worthwhile and desirable, look how it has helped Mexico and its people. Using drugs hurts no one, it’s a victimless crime, unlike killing. Yes, some terrorist groups such as ISIS do sell drugs to fund their projects and kill a few people but they are an exception.

Most terrorist groups such as the communist Sandinistas in Nicaragua, who killed those supported by America, didn’t have to sell drugs, they received help and support from Marxist supporters such as Bill deBlasio in the form of money, clothing and medical supplies.

“True revolutionaries do not flaunt their radicalism. They cut their hair, put on suits, and infiltrate from within.” Saul Alinsky

imageNew Yorkers, unlike Ted Cruz, embrace the ethical standards of Marxist Che Guevarra and the leadership of Melissa-Mark Viverito. Melissa is Speaker of the New York City Council. She has New York values. She was recently fined $7000 for accepting free consulting services from a lobbying group. She also had to pay $3796.44 to this lobbing group, their normal fee in an uncorrupt city with values opposite New York’s. Fortunately Melissa can pay her fine and fee with money from her campaign fund, or taxpayer money. It was a no-risk deal for Melissa who wants to continue her work creating a more free and just New York City for all.

So what do you think about those New York values, Senator Cruz? And when are the ‘Free Chapo’ tee shirts coming out? Senator Cruz just doesn’t get what New Yorkers want in their value system.


Abortion is good for the country as well as New York, something Senator Cruz does not understand. It is a desirable and worthwhile goal to eliminate from society the children of unwed mothers who are poor, on welfare and will someday be a burden on the American taxpayer.


New Yorkers embrace Nancy Pelosi and her values. She loves her children and grandchildren but not the children of others. She also shares the values of New Yorkers who believe contraceptives need a good back-up plan and abortion provides this plan. And besides, babies are a dime a dozen. So what’s the problem, Senator Cruz?

Former Mayor Bloomberg, a New Yorker, will not be discussed here but his values can be found in a previous blog titled ‘Gun Control and Moral Character.’

One more thing; there’s always ‘one more thing;’ If one really wants to know about New York values, take a good look at the Daily News’ caricature of the Statue of Liberty giving the finger to a Texas Senator who is pro-life, against gay marriage and believes in the 2nd amendment, all corrupt vices to the New Yorker and opposite of their requirements of good moral character. It’s a typical reaction from those who cannot defend their position in a debate. And this comes from the adult New Yorker, not the grammer school New Yorker. Nyet, not yet, but they will learn when Mr. and Mrs. New Yorker teach them the qualities they hold dear and consider worthwhile and desirable.



Four Very Short Stories About Love

Note:  The following stories are make-believe, they are not true but are based upon true stories. My attorneys have informed me that there is not yet a law forbidding the writing of make-believe stories, but just in case, they have advised me to pack a bag.


When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Biga Pizza Pie…

imageI don’t have any bad memories about eating a slice of pizza, don’t have any good ones either. Some things aren’t that memorable and eating pizza is one of them. Memory is for important things such as comments made by Ralph, the owner of ‘Remember Pizza’ in Indiana, to the local TV station regarding the catering of a gay wedding.

“Hey Mr. Pizza pie maker,” called out Walter, the TV man, to the owner of ‘Remember Pizza’ who was finishing his forth can of beer and about to spread a ladle full of tomato sauce onto the pizza dough. “I got a question for you. If two gay gays came in here and told you they were going to be married to each other next month and wanted ‘Remember Pizza’ to cater their wedding of 200 people, would you do it?”

“What the hell you talking about,” asked Ralph, “and why you got a TV camera in my store? You want to buy a slice of pizza? I’ll sell you a slice of pizza, if not, take a hike. And what do you mean two guys getting married. Since when do men marry men?

“The Supreme Court said girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys, it’s the law of the land,” said Walter, “and we are taking a survey to see if businesses will cater gay weddings.”

“Holy crap,” said Ralph in ashtonishment taking his gold crucifix hanging from his neck in his two floured fingers and kissing it, “and you want to know if I would make pizza pies for 200 people at some gay guys wedding.”

“Well would you?” Asked Walt.

“Hell no,” answered Ralph, “I wouldn’t serve these people ‘pigs in a blanket’ and besides, how would I keep all these pies hot and deliver them to some catering hall?”

“So your answer is no,” asked Walter, “you wouldn’t cater a gay wedding, is that what you are telling all of Indiana and the gay community?”

“That’s what I’m saying,” said Ralph, “but look, anybody can come to my pizza place and I’ll serve them a slice, just don’t tell me if you are gay or not, because I don’t care, just order a slice, eat and off you go. Why is it so damn important to let me know you have sex with where my pizza is going, and also, from where it will come out from a few days later. You know what I mean?”

It was Walter’s turn to be ashtonished.

Ralph said to himself he needs another beer and went to the fridge. He thought of all the money he could make selling 25 pies plus the delivery, and he  turned to Walter and said, “You know, if these two homo guys wanted to bring their reception onto the sidewalk and line up in a nice way, then maybe I could make the pies and serve them each a nice hot slice or two.”

“So you would cater a gay wedding?” Asked Walter.

Ralph opened his beer and mumbled something while fingering his golden crucifix. “No. Forget what I said, I don’t want anything to do with this gay wedding stuff. I will not cater a gay wedding. It’s against my religion, and I wouldn’t feel right about supporting any gay stuff. It’s bad enough they are allowed to adopt kids, and look what the Catholic priests did. Once you legalize these people we’ll have a country full of Jerry Sanduskys. No never. You want a slice of pizza?”

Ralph went home that night and caught the ten o’clock news, and there was Walter outside his pizza shop telling all of Indiana and America that he was a homophobic, beer guzzling religious bigot who hated gays and called them pigs in bed under their blankets.

Soon after Walt’s report Ralph got some disturbing news from his daughter who was chirping on Twitter. People were chirping that they were going to burn down Ralph’s ‘Remember Pizza’ parlor, murder Ralph and his family, and never buy a slice of pizza from his establishment ever again, which wasn’t saying much if Ralph was dead and his pizza place burned to the ground.

Ralph got hold of his golden crucifix in his hand and said a few prayers. He went to his room, packed a small bag and grabbed a few beers and was out of the house. Halfway down the block he realized he should go back and get his daughter and the rest of the family. They all went into hiding and haven’t been seen since. Ralph loves his family, sometimes he forgets.

Walt reported this and said the loss of one family was a small price to pay for the civil right of every man and woman to love whomever they want, even in unusual ways. Walter closed the report with his famous TV saying; “And that’s the way it was.”

It was a lovely broadcast.

The End


Let Them Eat Cake

imageIt was a lovely morning. Baker Bob was preparing cupcakes in the shops kitchen, filling the trays with batter, baking and slopping on icing when they cooled. He’s been at it since 5am. Bob loved his work as a baker, the lovely smells from different cake and cookie batter, the fillings and toppings. Soon the sun would rise above the horizon, as it does every day, and its lovely rays will fill the front of his ‘Have Another Cookie’ pastry shop.

Baker Bob’s wife, Antoinette, came in about eight o’clock and she really looked like crap. Bob mistakenly pointed this out to Antoinette who exploded with a fusillade of French curse words completely shattering the mornings lovelyness. Baker Bob never learned French but knew when it was time to retreat back into the kitchen. He was making black and white cookies. There was a new law in the state legislature about to be passed that would prohibit these cookies until one third of the cookie was also in brown. Antoinette went to the bathroom to freshen up, comb her hair and apply some makeup to present a new and lovely face to the customers who would arrive at the 9am opening time.

Business was good. Life was good. And so were the pastries. But there were dark clouds just below the horizon. Around noon Bob and Antoinette were manning the front counter when in came Mrs. O’Really and her daughter Gomphrena to order a wedding cake. Baker Bob got his clipboard to write down pertinent information and asked Mrs. O’Really for the names of the bride and groom.

“Oh there is no groom,”said Mrs. O’Really, “it’s two lovely brides, my daughter here, Gomphrena, and her partner whose name is Lisianthus. It’s a lesbian wedding so we will need two bride figurines for the top of the cake.”

“Oh really,” said Baker Bob, “well I’m sorry but we don’t cater to same sex weddings, and we can’t make your wedding cake because of our Christian beliefs.” He put down his clipboard, clicked off his ball point pen and carefully placed it in his shirt pocket plastic pen and pencil holder.

What do you mean you can’t make a wedding cake for my daughter, said Mrs. O’Really. “For Christ’s sake this is the twenty-first century.”

Antoinette spoke-up. “We will not support anything from the LGBTABCD and E agenda. It’s all unnatural and against our God’s law.”

“You both have some pair,” said Mrs. O’Really.

“Not true,” said Antoinette, “Bob maybe, but not me, you really are confused aren’t you?”

Hearing this Gomphrena was devastated. She appeared as if she was about to collapse and had to be helped out of the shop by her stunned mother who glared back at Antoinette. Baker Bob quickly retreated into the kitchen to wash some pots and pans.

Gomphrena was crying and her nose was running as she told her mother. “We deserve equal accommodations, equal rights and the right to get married.”

“I know, I know, said Mrs. O’Really who knew the mantra by heart along with several other gay slogans from listening to her daughter and friends for several years. “Don’t worry sweetie,” consoling her daughter, “we’ll find another cake maker, here blow your nose.” All the while thinking about Entemans cakes.

Lisianthus was pacing back and forth across the kitchen floor sharpening her carving knife on the steel and fuming while listening to her future bride retell the horrid rejection story. The rare roast beef sat in a pool of blood on the serving platter waiting its fate.

Mrs. O’Really was on the phone speaking with a friend who worked for Oregon Labor Commissioner Brad Nailem. Words and phrases like “burn them,” “homophobic Christian bastards,” “cut his little halls off,” and other wordy pleasantries echoed from the corner of the room where she stood facing the wall admiring a lovely portrait of a weaving Penelope waiting for her husband.

The lovely bridesmaids Parodia, Opuntia, Crassula and Frithia were picking through a pile of LGBTABCD and E protest posters looking for something appropriate to use at the ‘Have Another Cookie’ pastry shop. They came up dry. “Hands Up Don’t Shoot” wouldn’t do.

Lisianthus bellowed, “Dinner is ready.” The meat was carved and the baked potatoes were piping hot. Another half inch of lovely rich, red roast beef blood was added to the serving platter after carving. Lisianthus lined up seven shot glasses and spooned them full of blood adding a pinch of salt.

“Here’s to Baker Bob and Antoinette.” Toasted Lisianthus. “Let’s eat.”

After dinner Mrs. O’Really informed the girls what her friend at the Labor Department recommended doing to maximize the damages inflicted upon the lovely Gomphrena and Lisianthus. The Commissioner would need a list of physical, emotional and mental damages suffered by the two brides. Lisianthus handed out sticky pads to everyone and they began to write what they thought may have resulted from being refused a wedding cake by Baker Bob and his lovely wife Antoinette. Each little note was slapped down and stuck to the kitchen table. The best of the sufferings was arranged and typed up.

“An acute loss of confidence, doubt, excessive sleep, felt mentally raped, dirty and shameful, high blood pressure, impaired digestion, loss of appetite, migraine headaches, pale and sick at home after work, resumption of smoking habit, shock, stunned, surprise, uncertainty, weight gain, worry and global warming.”

Several days later Mrs. O’Really received a call from her inside man at the Oregon Labor Department. He gave high praise to the two brides and the bridesmaids for such diligent workmanship and told Mrs. O’Really that he relayed the woeful tale of Gomphrena and Lisianthus to Commissioner Nailem and delivered him the list of suffering. The Commisioner was ashtonished that this had happened in America, the land of the free and home of the brave, and after itemizing each of the perceived damages with a monetary value, he came up with the total sum of 135,000 dollars. A registered letter was sent to the ‘Have Another Cookie’ pastry shop where dark clouds were forming above. Pay this amount or else was the message, along with a gag order for Baker Bob and Antoinette to ‘cease and desist’ from talking about not wanting to bake a cake for same sex weddings based upon their religious beliefs.

America may be the land of the free, but Oregon State Commissioner of Labor, Brad Nailem, would determine who had freedom of religion and speech.

The marriage of Baker Bob and his wife Antoinette was becoming stronger. They stuck together and laughed at the Commissioner’s fine and his ‘cease and desist’ bullshit. As for the magnificent seven; Mrs. O’Really, Gomphrena, Lisianthus, Parodia, Opuntia, Crassula, and Frithia; Baker Bob baked and mailed to each of them a small six inch diameter chocolate cake with vanilla icing. On top was written “We Really Do Love You” in lovely rich, blood red raspberry filling.

Antoinette made lovely little pastry cookie cards signing each, “With Love From The ‘Have Another Cookie’ Pastry Shop, And May You All Eat Cake.”

Lisianthus sharpened her knife.

The End


Flower House

Peagoda has been running her ‘Flower House and Gift Shop’ for more than 30 years. She sold gifts and crafted lovely flower arrangements for all sorts of occasions from baby showers to funerals. Most of her flower arrangements had to do with ‘love,’ the falling in and the falling out, and the falling back in again kind of love.

Her good friend Gasterio was in love. She had known him for ten years. He often stopped by to talk about flowers, especially how to arrange them in lovely and meaningful ways. Sometimes he would stop in just to smell the flowers. Peagoda didn’t really approved of this nor did her customers who thought it strange seeing a grown man going from one flower to another smelling its fragrance. It took several hours to smell the whole shop. Peagoda asked Gasterio to please stop smelling the flowers individually and smell them all collectively. Gasterio wasn’t pleased with this but complied with Peagoda’s wishes. They were true and understanding friends. Now Gasterio would stand in the middle of the ‘Flower House’ shop with eyes closed, and a slight smile, slowly and deeply inhaling and slowly exhaling all the shops aromas. But it wasn’t the same.

One day Gasterio came to see Peagoda. He was extremely excited and happy and announced to her that he was going to get married. His life partner, Malphoro, proposed last night while they were watching an episode of “Will and Grace” on TV. Gasterio asked Peagoda if she would participate in his wedding and create a lovely gay themed flower arrangement for this special occasion. Peagoda’s Christian upbringing taught her that we should all love all people. She new that Gasterio was gay but it didn’t matter to her, until now.

“Gasterio, we have been friends for a long time,” said Peagoda, “and I would like to continue our friendship but my Christian belief does not allow me to condone or contribute to a same sex wedding. Please understand my position.”

“Well, I am very disappointed Peagoda, but I do understand.”

“I am glad to hear that,” said Peagoda, “and I can give you the names of several florists who would be happy to create a flower arrangement for you and Malphoro’s wedding.”

“Oh that’s okay,” said Gasterio, “we will find someone who truly believes in love and marriage for everyone.”

“So we are still friends,” asked Peagoda.

Gasterio reached out and gave Peagoda a big hug. “Of course we’re still friends, we will always be friends,” said Gasterio.

Gasterio turned and left the Flower House for the last time thinking to himself, “God, what a bitch, I’ll get even with her.” And he would. He would return one day in another form.

It must have been a little bird who informed Washington State Attorney General Larry Lynch about the horrid woman from the ‘Flower House and Gift Shop’ who sanctimoniously snubbed and refused Gasterio and Malphoro a lovely flower arrangement for their wedding, dashing and shattering their happiness. “By God this women will pay for her audacity, no one has the right to dash and shatter anyone’s happiness in the great state of Washington,” said Attorney General Lynch to his entire staff of assistant attorneys. He filed suit against Peagoda. She now faced personal liability for her religious beliefs, and Larry, who was to be Gasterio’s best man at the wedding, was also going to stop Peagoda from creating any more wedding flower arrangements.

Gasterio and Malphoro with ACLU attorneys also filed suit that would financially devastate Peagoda’s business and personal assets. Gasterio returned to the ‘Flower House’ in a sealed envelope that demanded a return receipt signature from Peagoda, acknowledging she received notice of what may be a bleak future, all in the name of love.

Peagoda thought to herself. “If only there were a land where one could express oneself in unfettered freedom. If only there were a land where we all had artistic freedom and the right to disagree without one side of a conversation being threatened by the government.”

The freedom to live and work according to one’s belief about marriage expired the day same sex marriage became law. Peagoda thought about this for awhile and decided to arrange some flowers for a funeral, it was the death of freedom. Maybe it would also be an appropriate arrangement for a same sex marriage.

At center was the Pitcher plant, surrounded by lovely hemlock…

The End


I’m Getting Married in the Morning

imageJimmy Jumpup and Vanilla Berries were on the road for quite a few hours, it was getting dark and they decided to stop in at a seedy roadside motel, due to a limited budget, and get some sleep. They wanted to be well rested before making their historical appearance at the Rowen County courthouse in Kentucky. They drove all the way from Columbus, Ohio to get their marriage license. One might think that the reason they were going to Kentucky was because Ohio ran out of applications, but no this was about love.

Actually they heard that some woman was refusing to issue marriage licenses to the GBLTABCD and E community members and they were upset with this woman’s belligerent attitude. Someone had to put her in her place and this was the mission of Jimmy Jumpup and Vanilla Berries. She will obey.

Delphinium wasn’t a very imposing woman, coming in at 4’6″ and 130 pounds, but her job position gave her plenty of wallop. She worked at the Rowen County courthouse for ten years performing the duties of County Clerk and was in charge of issuing all type of licenses. A license was needed for dogs and cats, horses and mules, street venders and cabs, hunting and building contractors and a host of other occupations and everyday living items. Delphinium had the muscle to legally grant or deny official authoritarian permission to do something.

Delphinium prayed twice a day, once in the morning when she got out of bed and once at night before she got back into bed. On occasion she said a prayer during the day, especially after avoiding a car accident or some other life threatening event. She was a good Christian woman, not as good as a Muslim woman, as some atheists would say, who prayed five times a day, but good enough. Then again some atheist would say that Delphinium was more good than a Muslim woman who ‘had’ to pray five times a day, or she would possibly get a good beating from her husband or get hit in the head with a rock, whereas Delphinium prayed because she believed in her God and ‘wanted’  to pray to him. Delphinium had a choice; Muslim women had better obey.

Jimmy and his future wife Vanilla sat in the car across from the courthouse. Jimmy was on the phone speaking with Perry Stalsis a BLTGABCD and E supporter from the local TV news station.

“Don’t move, stay in the car until we get there and set up our cameras,” said Perry. “We want to get a shot of you and your bride walking up the courthouse steps holding hands, and at the door before entering, turning to wave to the crowds who have come to witness history in the making.”

“Are you bringing the crowds, asked Jimmy, “because there are no people here.

“Just pretend there is a large gathering and smile and wave, said Perry, “and let me deal with it.”

Delphinium was sitting at her desk inking up her two rubber stamps on the inkpad, ‘Approved ‘ and ‘Disapproved.’ She declared to the local newspaper several weeks ago that she does not believe in same sex marriage and would have nothing to do with it. No ‘Approved’ same sex marriage license would come from her office. That’s why Jimmy Jumpup and Vanilla Berries were in Rowen County.

After waving to the imaginary cheering crowds Jimmy and Vanilla stepped inside and up to the service counter where Jimmy said to Delphinium, “Excuse me miss, where can I get me a marriage license around here.” He realized he sounded like John Kerry asking to get a hunting license way back when Big John was running for President. Jimmy stopped slouching and stood up straight with pride at the thought of his idol. Even Vanilla looked up at him with admiration. The cameras were rolling.

Delphinium kicked her milk crate over to the counter to stand on so she could see over and work at the counter. She asked the cameraman what was he doing in her courthouse and Jimmy told her, “Oh, he’s making a video of our wedding from beginning to… whenever.”

Delphinium asked Jimmy, “Where’s the bride?” She told him she had to be here to sign the papers for the license. Jimmy, with love in his eyes, turned to Vanilla and told Delphinium, “This is Vanilla Berries, my future bride and wife.”

Oh shit, thought Delphinium. She didn’t know what to say, and after looking over at Vanilla in his blue tank top and red Capri pants and pale white skin, she asked Jimmy if Vanilla was a woman. “No miss, not yet, Vanilla is a man like me but we have the right to get married and we want a marriage license. The Supreme Court said we can get married.”

“Well then,” said Delphinium, “you just take yourself and your future lady friend and go to Washington DC to their little courthouse to get your marriage license. We don’t recognize same sex marriage in Rowen County, Kentucky and we ain’t going to approve of any gay marriage license.”

Delphinium picked up her ‘Disapproved’ rubber stamp and went from inkpad to an open newspaper on the counter, stamping and stamping and stamping until an office worker came over and gently grabbed her hand. “Get a grip on yourself Delphinium,” said the office worker. The idea that that queer little man would come into her courthouse dressed as he was in tank top and Capri pants was outrageous. On the newspapers front page was a picture of Muslim women in all black burkas with ‘Disapproved ‘ stamped all over them. One extreme to another thought Delphinium. Christians dress modestly. But the atheist would say that Muslim women dressed more modestly than Christian women, therefore, are more virtuous. But then again, some Muslim women have been beaten to death for decorating their burka with some simple beads. May Allah help them if they go outside not properly dressed in their black tents. Virtue is not virtue if imposed by threat of a beating or being hit in the head with a rock. Delphinium smiled thinking about Vanilla Berries in his cute outfit marrying a Muslim, man or woman.

“Okay that’s a wrap,” said Perry Stalsis.

They all left the courthouse and were greeted outside by about five or six gay rights activists who just heard about history being made in Rowen County. They were waving their gay rainbow flag and cheering for Jimmy and Vanilla. Perry paid them each five dollars and the crowd dispersed. They were very disappointed with today’s history.

Two days later Delphinium was arrested, made to wear an orange jumpsuit, paraded before the news cameras and spent the next ten days in jail for not doing her job. A judge told the others working at the courthouse that if they didn’t issue same sex marriage licenses they would also be tossed into the clink. Something a Muslim man would never do to Delphinium.

Love and lunacy prevailed.

The End