Everyone, except for Miss Lilly Ledbetter and our Negro President Barry from Honolulu know – but will not admit – that women do not work as hard or produce as much in the workplace than men. Face it ladies, you are not the same as men and not worth as much as men, and be thankful you have the opportunity to work and make a living with the blessing of men in “their world.”
You may make a little less money than men, but look at all the free stuff men give you, free abortion, contraceptives, paid maternity leave, and soon you’ll be receiving free tampons. You do know that there are other ways to get equal pay other than having Barry from Honolulu sign an Executive Order. The easiest way to get that extra cash is to become a transgender person, simply think you’re a man and go tell your boss that you are no longer a woman but a man; or you could take a little vacation to Trinidad, Colorado and have a sex change operation. You’ll get that extra 20 cents on the dollar but then you will loose the abortion, contraceptive, maternity leave and free tampon benefits. Your call ladies.
Ladies, your a poor investment in the workplace. Once you get knocked-up you begin costing the company money. And -that -is your role in the world like it or not, get pregnant and have kids, yet you keep insisting on playing the role of men and to be their equal in the workforce and the military, and now one of you wants to be President, God helps us. It’s the role of men to shape the world, to shape it so that it is clean and safe for women to bring new life into it. You play your part and let men play theirs.
So put all that rhetorical victimization crap on hold, whether it’s about wages or that famous worn out female exprussion “It’s a man’s world.” Can it and put a lid on it ladies. If it wasn’t for men with their heartfelt empathy and their concern for the fairer, and weaker sex, in both mind and body, there would be no modern conveniences to make your life easier. And your complaining about what? A lousy twenty cents. You have been nothing more than a goddamn troublemaker right from the beginning.
Do you know the greatest love story ladies? It was the first love story. Have you ever asked yourself after you got caught stealing and eating something you weren’t supposed to be eating, why the man in your life did not turn you in for a replacement? That’s right sweetie, he knew you would never make it alone in the world. He cared. He gave a damn about you, and he’s been eating sweet and sour MacIntosh apples ever since you got us kicked out of that peaceful neighborhood.
It was nice running around naked, but now we had to wear grass and leaves and smelly animal skins, dig for roots and collect nuts and half-rotten fruit. It was men who taught you how to wash your hands before eating, men who made tools to catch fish and kill animals so you would have some meat to eat. He even showed you how to make a fire to cook the meat or you would still be eating it raw.
A shower once a week, whether or not a man needed it or not, would be plenty. And if it’s to cold, the wait till spring would not be a problem. Not in a mans world. How about those cold baths in the rivers, showering in the rain, and beating your cloths on rocks to get them clean. And do you remember the bugs and other vermin living in the walls and roof of the grass shelter that leaked every time it rained, the mess in the forest later confined to an outhouse? (another man invention) Remember the gathering of firewood, and the tears from your eyes when cooking? Remember the food and how it would become uneatable so quickly and how sometimes there was nothing to eat at all, and all those children dying from sickness and how dark the world was? I do.
Something had to be done, and I’ll be damned if a woman was going to do it. It was lumber and stone instead of grass and caves for a better shelter, a well and pipes for fresh water, and indoor fixed flushable chamber pots with toilet paper. Men brought you coal, gas and oil for heat and cooking, and electricity for refrigeration and light. They provided fabric, linen and silk for better clothing, all of which led to less and less dying of the new life you brought into the world. It took awhile, but men did it. They shaped the world to make it a better place for you and your kids. Do you remember? I do.
Those goddamn responsible and caring men. How come they get paid at all? I just don’t know. Please ladies, enough and quit your bellyaching. We deserve that twenty cents. It’s a small amount for what we put up with.