Some people like cats. I like cats. I read to my cat while we listen to classical music and he listens intently to my every word.
He sometimes sits by the book shelf waiting for me to pick another book.
Some people don’t like cats and are mean to them, it’s easy to pick one of these people out of a crowd.
My cat’s name is Hey-you, it’s easy to remember. If I gave him a real name I’d only forget it and end up calling him ‘hey you’ so why not get it over with and name him Hey-you. Life can be simple, and besides what cat ever listens to and answers to their name.
Hey-you, like most cats has a mother and her name is Big Momma.
For two years in a row I watched Big Momma with a bellyfull of kittens waddling across the yard. Her belly hung down to about an inch from the ground and her back was bowed like a ridge beam on an old house.
She was a feral cat and would disappear for awhile then return with all her kittens. The following photo is make-believe.
Hey-you came from the first litter. My neighbor adopted one of the kittens and it now lives in New Jersey with my neighbor’s son. It was very lucky to get out of the Bronx. Hey-you came stumbling into the yard one day half starved. He threw up some water and plopped over on his side and just laid there. I never really wanted a cat but we couldn’t just leave the animal. My neighbor told me that I did so want a cat and got a cage for me to keep this little critter in. A few good meals and water and it was sitting up with it’s cute little ears back, spitting and growling.
Big Momma probably ran out of milk and cut her kittens loose. We found one in the road, hit by a car and buried him in the yard with Rusty my dog, a possum, a few birds, several fish, a feral cat and a squirrel, the forth kitten’s whereabouts was unknown.
After a week or so Hey-you calmed down and we took him to a cat groomer for a flea bath and a claw clipping. A few hours later we got a phone call from the groomer asking us to come pick up the cat. They couldn’t get the cat off the top of the cage and it bit the groomer through her glove. They recommended bringing the little kitten back after it was more civilized, about a year or so would be good.
The following year Big Momma showed up with another litter. This photo is also make-believe.
This time we saved all four kittens. My neighbor adopted the runt of the lot who looked just like Hey-you except for his helmet-looking head that got him the name Darth Vader.
All he needed was a cape, a light saber, and some “Star War” music. Vader is a terror.
It was this second litter where it was decided Big Momma had to be fixed. I was feeding Big Momma over the winter months and she was becoming less fearful of two legged people. We caught and kept her in a cage until the dour dreadful deed was done and also while she recovered. She now stayed in the yard with her two sons and wandered less. Vader terrorized both but concentrated more on Hey-you after Big Momma gave him a few motherly wacks in the face.
It was Hey-you’s duty to teach young Vader how to fight and wrestle. Teach him how to be a cat.
Occasionally Big Momma and Vader would come over to Hey-you’s house for a visit.
It was no longer my house I just lived here and fed the cats. I thought I owned a cat, but that’s not true, Hey-you owns a human is more accurate.
Hey-you has his own private toilet in the workshop. The entrance door is in the hallway and that’s where Big Momma was sitting waiting for her turn as soon as Hey-you was done.
And who shows up? Vader the line jumper.
Big Momma sat up straight and was about to give Mr. Manners a good wack …
Vader suddenly attacted ‘his own mother’, shocked she ran down the hall and gave up her number two spot.
Whatever happened to “ladies first.” Vader was completely blank when it came to toilet etiquette.
With all the commotion outside Hey-you cut short his business to take a look.
Big Momma was going to need a sheltered place to stay for the winter. She wasn’t to comfortable staying in Hey-you’s house for any length of time. I built her a simple little house.
It had a non-leaking shed roof, insulated ceiling and floor, an air circulating vent, two large picture windows, a porch, hanging flower pots and rags for bedding.
Vader came over to check out the new house and decided it was way to small for his taste. He’d stay in his human’s house with the nice chairs and couches.
Big Momma liked the place especially the hanging flower pots. She liked smelling flowers. She stays inside whenever it rains and sleeps in the little house at night.
Vader has his own personal ramp that goes from his window to my, or Hey-you’s yard. It’s easier for him to get here than having to use the front door of his human’s house. It also allows him to get to his toilet and get back outside again without having to rely on his human. Vader has never gone to the toilet outside in the open. All his life, except when really really little with his mother, Vader used the litter box. He has to use either his box or Hey-you’s or he doesn’t know what to do. He’s only a kitten.
Anyway, Big Momma decided to check out Vader’s house and cautiously went up the ramp.
She had her two sons keep lookout down below. Big Momma didn’t know that the four Bulldogs had access to that room, and Vader or Hey-you weren’t going to tell her. Fortunately for Big Momma the inside door was closed. She went in, took a quick look around and got back out.
Her two watchcats were disappointed about the dogs. And where was the Watchman?
(The rest of this story is all make-believe.)
We have a Watchman who looks over the garden. He makes sure no one steals any vegetables or tries to catch any fish in the pond. He was napping on the little house’s porch.
He was also interested in the little house but decided he liked his tree house better.
The Watchman can be found all over the garden doing what he does best … Watching.
He checks the flowers making sure they smell okay,
feels the tomatoes to see if they are ripe
and takes his boat out on the pond to count the fish, a very daunting task because they never stop swimming. Sometimes he will catch a fish, measure and weigh it then let it go.
He also straightens out the pond plants when the raccoons come in and make a big mess.
None of the cats know what time of the year it is, and don’t know if you like them or not, but they all wish everyone a Merry Christmas, the naughty, the nice, and the Watchman.