“How to Solve a Noise Problem in New York City” A Book Review

image“It was a quiet summer and I continued to practice my writing, concentrating on my commas, spelling and other punctuation along with not breaking sentences in two and making sure weather or not to use a parenthetical expression nonetheless it was also a very sunny and warm summer and it hardly ever rained or got cold and I concentrated on how to avoid sentences that run on and on and on which can make a paragraph really seem to be out of control. And very difficult to pay attention to!”

That’s quite a sentence taken from the heart of “How to Solve a Noise Problem in New York City” and it expresses what it’s like writing letters to and dealing with indifferent socialist government agencies attempting to solving a quality of life problem in a city where those who disturb the peace have special rights.

This ‘how to’ book is worth purchasing just for the opportunity of possessing this run on sentence to read to friends. “How to Solve a Noise Problem in New York City” is an e-book, therefore it’s cheap and well in the affordable range for those living in American poverty, the wealthy and all those in between. There is no excuse for not purchasing “How to Solve a Noise Problem in New York City,” except for the fact that one does not really get a real book. But for the well under $5 price tag and free shipping to anywhere in the world, it’s a bargain.

So what’s the book all about? I would suggest buying and reading it. That’s the best way. Book reviewers, in my opinion, are not to be trusted, especially those having close ties with the author. But to wet one’s literary appetite, I will tell you this: Humiliation can lead to violence.

Imagine an American Legion post in a residential neighborhood abusing a family and their two small children with their loud weekend parties. Imagine the Legion members, American military veterans not giving a damn about this family or any of their neighbors. Imagine a fellow veteran building his home next door to this Legion post and also being abused with the loud weekend parties, lied about to other veterans, the police department, government officials and politicians, and once again the American Legion not giving a damn.

How should one deal with and defend one’s home, property and reputation from a handful of New York City pricks protected by a corrupt and indifferent New York City government? With pen or sword?

Read the book and you decide.

Find and purchase at Barnes&Noble Nook Books or at

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view10408

 

Some people like cats

imageSome people like cats. I like cats. I read to my cat while we listen to classical music and he listens intently to my every word.

imageHe sometimes sits by the book shelf waiting for me to pick another book.

Some people don’t like cats and are mean to them, it’s easy to pick one of these people out of a crowd.image

My cat’s name is Hey-you, it’s easy to remember. If I gave him a real name I’d only forget it and end up calling him ‘hey you’ so why not get it over with and name him Hey-you. Life can be simple, and besides what cat ever listens to and answers to their name.

Hey-you, like most cats has a mother and her name is Big Momma.image

For two years in a row I watched Big Momma with a bellyfull of kittens waddling across the yard. Her belly hung down to about an inch from the ground and her back was bowed like a ridge beam on an old house.image

She was a feral cat and would disappear for awhile then return with all her kittens. The following photo is make-believe.image

Hey-you came from the first litter. My neighbor adopted one of the kittens and it now lives in New Jersey with my neighbor’s son. It was very lucky to get out of the Bronx. Hey-you came stumbling into the yard one day half starved. He threw up some water and plopped over on his side and just laid there. I never really wanted a cat but we couldn’t just leave the animal. My neighbor told me that I did so want a cat and got a cage for me to keep this little critter in. A few good meals and water and it was sitting up with it’s cute little ears back, spitting and growling.

Big Momma probably ran out of milk and cut her kittens loose. We found one in the road, hit by a car and buried him in the yard with Rusty my dog, a possum, a few birds, several fish, a feral cat and a squirrel, the forth kitten’s whereabouts was unknown.image

After a week or so Hey-you calmed down and we took him to a cat groomer for a flea bath and a claw clipping. A few hours later we got a phone call from the groomer asking us to come pick up the cat. They couldn’t get the cat off the top of the cage and it bit the groomer through her glove. They recommended bringing the little kitten back after it was more civilized, about a year or so would be good.

The following year Big Momma showed up with another litter. This photo is also make-believe.image

This time we saved all four kittens. My neighbor adopted the runt of the lot who looked just like Hey-you except for his helmet-looking head that got him the name Darth Vader.image

All he needed was a cape, a light saber, and some “Star War” music. Vader is a terror.

It was this second litter where it was decided Big Momma had to be fixed. I was feeding Big Momma over the winter months and she was becoming less fearful of two legged people. We caught and kept her in a cage until the dour dreadful deed was done and also while she recovered. She now stayed in the yard with her two sons and wandered less. Vader terrorized both but concentrated more on Hey-you after Big Momma gave him a few motherly wacks in the face.

It was Hey-you’s duty to teach young Vader how to fight and wrestle. Teach him how to be a cat.image

Occasionally Big Momma and Vader would come over to Hey-you’s house for a visit.image

It was no longer my house I just lived here and fed the cats. I thought I owned a cat, but that’s not true, Hey-you owns a human is more accurate.

Hey-you has his own private toilet in the workshop. The entrance door is in the hallway and that’s where Big Momma was sitting waiting for her turn as soon as Hey-you was done.image

And who shows up? Vader the line jumper.image

Big Momma sat up straight and was about to give Mr. Manners a good wack …image

Vader suddenly attacted ‘his own mother’, shocked she ran down the hall and gave up her number two spot.image

Whatever happened to “ladies first.” Vader was completely blank when it came to toilet etiquette.

With all the commotion outside Hey-you cut short his business to take a look.image

Big Momma was going to need a sheltered place to stay for the winter. She wasn’t to comfortable staying in Hey-you’s house for any length of time. I built her a simple little house.image

It had a non-leaking shed roof, insulated ceiling and floor, an air circulating vent, two large picture windows, a porch, hanging flower pots and rags for bedding.image

Vader came over to check out the new house and decided it was way to small for his taste. He’d stay in his human’s house with the nice chairs and couches.image

Big Momma liked the place especially the hanging flower pots. She liked smelling flowers. She stays inside whenever it rains and sleeps in the little house at night.image

Vader has his own personal ramp that goes from his window to my, or Hey-you’s yard. It’s easier for him to get here than having to use the front door of his human’s house. It also allows him to get to his toilet and get back outside again without having to rely on his human. Vader has never gone to the toilet outside in the open. All his life, except when really really little with his mother, Vader used the litter box. He has to use either his box or Hey-you’s or he doesn’t know what to do. He’s only a kitten.

Anyway, Big Momma decided to check out Vader’s house and cautiously  went up the ramp.image

She had her two sons keep lookout down below. Big Momma didn’t know that the four Bulldogs had access to that room, and Vader or Hey-you weren’t going to tell her. Fortunately for Big Momma the inside door was closed. She went in, took a quick look around and got back out.image

Her two watchcats were disappointed about the dogs. And where was the Watchman?

(The rest of this story is all make-believe.)

We have a Watchman who looks over the garden. He makes sure no one steals any vegetables or tries to catch any fish in the pond. He was napping on the little house’s porch.image

He was also interested in the little house but decided he liked his tree house better.image

The Watchman can be found all over the garden doing what he does best … Watching.image

He checks the flowers making sure they smell okay,image

feels the tomatoes to see if they are ripeimage

and takes his boat out on the pond to count the fish,image a very daunting task because they never stop swimming. Sometimes he will catch a fish, measure and weigh it then let it go.

He also straightens out the pond plants when the raccoons come in and make a big mess.image

None of the cats know what time of the year it is, and don’t know if you like them or not, but they all wish everyone a Merry Christmas, the naughty, the nice, and the Watchman.image

 

Ladies in Combat

imageAmerica’s Commander-in-Chief, “Barry from Honolulu” and Defense Secretary Ash Carter have come to the rescue in the war against whoever it is we are supposed to be fighting; ISIS, ISIL, RE’s (Radical Extremists), HGT’s (Home Grown Terrorists), or disgruntled WPT’s (Work Place Terrorists), just about everybody and their mother except Allah and Islam.

imageAnd please, Attorney General Loretta Lynch from Brooklyn, don’t put me in jail for mentioning Allah and Islam, it is not in any way an attempt to incite violence against Mr. Allah or Islam with Christian jihad.

History has been in the making ever since Bubba got a “you know what” in the Oral Office. His gay sex act with “what’s her name” began the process of accepting homosexuality in the military and more accepting by the American people. If gay sex is okay for the heterosexual, especially with our Big Chief, why not for the homos? And today, Ash Carter continues to make American history by opening up combat positions for ladies in all branches of the Military in order to defeat our above mentioned enemies, and God knows, he’s just in time. No photos at this time to protect the kiddies.

Some of these combat roles will require certain manly physical strengths, but the ladies are up to the task, more so than some men.image

We need our ladies on the front lines shooting bad guys. So many American men just don’t have the time or live the lifestyle to serve in the military and want nothing to do with it. They have so many things to do, like staying fit and doing muscle flexing;

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choosing the right earrings for different occasions;

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applying alluring eyeshadow, lipgloss and fake-up face stuff.

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How can any red blooded American male present themselves in combat without these necessities. Perhaps one day the foolish Military rules of “no makeup” will change for men in uniform, so until then let’s bring in the ladies to fight with what men remain and to protect all men.

I wanna be an Airborne Ranger, I wanna go to Vietnam.

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American ladies will learn the “spirit of the bayonet” in the infantry, they will drive tanks in Armor units, lead soldiers on recon missions, and kill bad guys on special ops, just like gay men.

No more simply bringing new life into the world and raising kids,

now the American ladies can start tearing life apart and sending back to mothers all over the world their kids in body bags. They already have plenty of experience through Planned Parenthood.

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imageHillary Clinton approves of ladies in combat roles (her girlfriend Huma, the wife of sexpot Anthony Weiner, for some reason doesn’t approve) and rumor has it that daughter Chelsea is considering enlisting along with former Attorney General “Burn the Church Down” Janet Reno and Taylor Swift.

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The ladies may need a real man to guide them in their new combat roles, and who better than General Randy S. Taylor who was recently honored at the LGBTABCD and E Pride Month ceremony at the Pentagon by introducing Defense Secretary Ash Carter who delivered the keynote address. General Taylor also gave special recognition to his husband, Lucas, who was sitting in the audience. (“His husband.” Well, well well, and is the General a man-wife?)

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And what about Bruce Jenner? Will she be allowed to serve and defend the homeland? Why not, asks Ash Carter. Transgender Captain Sage Fox serves and protects America, why not Kaitlyn? One is never to old to serve.

One elite unit, with General Taylor as supreme commander, comprised of homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders, and the American Lady ready to do combat and killing and maiming and destroying our enemies, just as soon as we find out who they are.

And to antagonize even further our enemy, who I will not mention by name, with our gender bending military policies, this elite unit’s motto will be, “Let Allah Eat Bacon” on a BLT flag. Eat that Loretta Lynch from Brooklyn.

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There was some opposition to all this crap from Marine General Joseph Dunford but he didn’t push the issue. He didn’t want to end up on Barry’s purge list of military officers. See “Disaster: Today’s Warrior Purge in the U.S. Military” by Robert K. Wilcox in the “American Thinker.”