The University of Missouri Compromise of 1950

imageOle Mizzory U out in the miserable racist mid-west on the other side of the Mississippi River is treating its paw Negro boys and girls in a very disdainful manner making them feel unhappy, and they are now putting their foot down demanding an end to all their distress and anguish in this woebegone atmosphere.

And what led up to all this bad stuff? It all began with Henry Clay in 1819 and escalated into a full blown, nation shaking, major earth shattering event when the Mizzory U President tried to run over a Negro yute with his car.

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He wasn’t actually driving, but anonymous Negro sauces told other Negroes that the President was overheard telling his driver to run that damn Negro over who was blocking the road for the Universities’ homecoming parade.

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The Negro wasn’t really run over, he was just bumped a little bit by the bumper. Lots of other Negro boys and girls believed or imagined they saw him actually get run over. He was carried off to a room to find the proof in the pudding and thoroughly inspected for cuts and bruises and broken bones where none were found. “So who was it that got run over?” Everyone asked.

Having unsuccessfully been run over by the President, a new tactic, or Plan B was enacted to further the cause. He would starve himself to death.

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I am ashtonished that this starving hunger striking Negro has been hanging around the University for eight years studying this and that and the other thing. One may think that he actually learned something and was a pretty smart Negro, but I guess he wasn’t.

He said he was inspired by what happened in Ferguson where some thug who robbed a store of cigars to make blunts with marijuana was rightfully shot and killed by a police officer he attacked. But that’s a whole other Negro story, a story that is not very inspirational.

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I wonder why he stayed at this University where he said he was not wanted and not imagetreated as a human being? Could it be he wasn’t qualified to go elsewhere? And with all his education why was this Negro boy treating himself as no one should treat another human being, by starving himself to death? Well at least he had the smarts to write out a will.

The McDonalds hamburger wrappers, the chicken wing scraps and watermelon rinds told another story about the hunger strike, but none of the other Negro boys and girls saw any of this stuff lying about. After the President ran over the Negro he called in the police and had all the other Negro boys and girls beaten with sticks and stones and bad words to break their bones. They were attacked by German Shepard dogs and other breeds, and then he hosed all those Negro boys and girls off the road and into the gutter.image

So the homecoming parade could continue. These are all facts documented with some really nice photos.image

So what else happened at Mizzory U to rile up all the paw Negro boys and girls? Aside from the attempted vehicular homicide by the President, the guy who was starving himself to death, about a month before, heard somebody yell out the nigger word at him. Who it was nobody knows. This also happened to a Georgia Congressman in Washington DC a long time ago. Somebody called him a nigger. Nobody knows who said this bad word in both cases, and it could be the same person attacking these paw Negroes. Photos of some suspects are here displayed.

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There was another incident where a pick-up truck full to the brim with white people  yelled out and called another paw Negro boy or girl a nigger. Once again they don’t know who are these people. There are some suspects.

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Then there was the Shitsticker swatted ona dorm wall, again by who? Now this sounds like something from an Al Sharpton/Tawana Brawley playbook.

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Well those were all the straws that broke the Negro’s back, and in came the Mizzory U football team, a bunch of losers when it comes to football but big winners when taking money and scholarships. There are 84 freeloaders on the team, 58 of them are Negro boys and not one Negro girl. How did they get away with that? And why?

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Anyway, they were very concerned about the Negro boy who was run over by the President of Mizzory U and that he wasn’t eating his grits and collard greens and was about to die from starvation. The Negro boys on the football team decided that they weren’t going to play ball for the college anymore until the President resigned his position and the starving Negro finally got a decent meal. The team was on strike and it was now going to cost the school a million dollars in revenue if they didn’t play the next game. The coach who gets paid a measily 3 million dollars per year also joined the Negro players who were getting an all expenses paid education and said he wouldn’t do any more coaching. Can’t blame the coach for going along with all the Balony and backing his team. Those Negroes were his rice bowl, and everyone knows, we all gotta eat.

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Well, that did it. The President resigned his Presidency, sang a song about crying for Argentina and apologized for all the things he was accused of, but didn’t do. He wrote and read a letter stating how white males get special treatment and privileges, admitted that racism has been rampant in the University, especially after 1820, and that more Negroes and people with coloring will be hired for well paying jobs on campus, not as well paying as the white football coach receives, but reasonable.

A sign “Racist President” was hung around his neck and he was paraded around the campus’ “press free zone,” a designated area where journalists are forbidden to enter; which reminds me of a City in China.

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The professional student who was down with the struggle and starving himself to death because somebody called him a nigger, rose to his feet and came out to greet the cheering crowds. He had to be helped because he was very weak and had trouble stepping over all the cardboard hamburger boxes, but he made it. Triumphantly he stood before all and humbly said, “Hey, this ain’t about me.”

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Yes indeed, after eight years of learning at Mizzory U, he used the “ain’t” word. And what’s that saying about taking certain people out of certain neighborhoods but not takin’ the hood out the person, but that’s another Negro story. The half-dead hunger striker then sat down on an upside-down galvanized mop bucket supplied by a Mizzory U janitor.

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He started to eat his BLT on a ‘toasted’ white bread sandwich, but not before asking, “Did you hold the Mao?”

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One would think that with the President toppled and the Negro boy’s and girl’s demands met by the University that this terrible event has come to an end. But no, nyet, not yet. A few books were found on the floor in the library that made many Negro boys and girls faint from what they read.

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Some passed out and didn’t awake for several days. The title of the most horrendous piece of literature on the floor was “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” by Mark Twain.

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It was probably nigger Jim that shocked so many paw Negro boys and girls. This book will hopefully be banned, but until then volunteer Negro boys and girls with very sourpusses are collecting as many copies as possible and blackening out the n-word. “Go Tell It On The Mountain” is next.

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And the football team will be playing ball so Ole Mizzory U won’t lose that one million dollars.

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Presidents are a dime a dozen.

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Book Review: “What a Load of Crap; You Got Mail”

Just look at the cover; orange and blue with splashes of red and white. “Crap” is worth the price even if you don’t read it; a great piece of artwork displayed on any coffee table or standing proudly in a prominent place in one’s library. Guaranteed to start a conversation – or a fight.

“Crap” is not only well written it is also very well made. A heavy duty binding with a thick flexible soft durable cover keeps all 490 50 lb. white pages right where they are needed most, in numerical order. At 6″ wide, 9″ in length and 1-3/16″ thick, “Crap” has heft. Whenever someone picks up your copy of “Crap” from the table or plucks it down from your library shelf, they will know they have something quite substantial in their hand. “What a Load of Crap” comes in at about 1-1/2 lbs., a whopper of a book.

So what is the “Crap” book about? In a nutshell, it’s about the other half of the conversation and debate on America’s social issues, it’s about what we think but dare not say in public. It’s about cowardice.

There is much discussion on sex and anatomy and many home runs are hit ridiculing the gay agenda along with their supporters. Throughout the book the author does an excellent job driving home the fact that the human digestive system or alimentary canal is not a double-ended pseudo vagina. Whenever or wherever gay sex is discussed, whether it is with homo or heterosexuals, “Crap” has some wonderful arguments to bring to the conversation. Women will especially love what is in “Crap.” It is definitely liberating. “Crap’s” hot.

Tired of listening to loudmouth black preachers, politicians and celebrities? Sick of black artists pretending they have talent? Disgusted with white kids and adults acting black imitating ignorance and stupidity? Read all about it in “Crap” and laugh.

Laughter is the best and most effective weapon to use against the absurd. Liberals will find it difficult to laugh about “Crap.” It will generate some anger and resentment, which is a good thing. There are plenty of insults for everyone.

The best part of “Crap” is that it has no beginning and no end. You can pick up a copy and start reading from either end; a concept to be appreciated by America’s Recreational Drug User; never worry about what page you were on or what book you were trying to read last night.

“What a Load of Crap; You Got Mail” is enlightening and informative. It is considered by many as literature, not very high literature, but literature just the same.

Available at Barnes and Noble and Amazon, in print or e-book.